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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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We search high and low. I’m calling out, “Fluffy! Fluffy!” Like that’s gonna work. But then, I spot a tail sticking out from under a car. I’m like, “Bingo!” I crawl under, and there’s Fluffy, looking all smug. I grab the cat, and the kid is over the moon. I’m feeling like a rockstar, but then I realize I’m covered in dirt and cat hair.

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